~ Here are some excerpts from my personal journal from 2007 about the Aka Dua. I had just received the Aka Dua transmission and was beginning the most spiritually transformative period of my life up to that point. It is interesting to look back now and see what I was thinking then and realize how far I’ve come in such a short period of time. I hope you enjoy it. ~ sadhaka, 4/1/11
9/13/07 – [At this point, I had had the A(ka)D(dua) for about a month. Many of the thoughts I express changed drastically as I became more in tune with the AD, its effects and character.] The Aka Dua… what to say? It’s there but it isn’t. Something so powerful should in theory be more opaque, more obvious. It’s impossible to define so far. Changeable, extremely deep, ancient. It’s like it creates the space for more energy to flow in rather than forcing it in. At first I was seeing it as yellowish white, but I asked it to change to blue and the quality of the energy instantly changed dramatically. A few times I think I’ve seen what it is for itself, or at least for me by itself, as a kind of soft bluish lavender. At times while channeling it, it makes me giddy, almost the way opening up with Deeksha can do, but it feels more empowering and kind of mischievous.
9/20/07 – I think in acclimating to the Aka Dua – which has become, I believe, a longer process for me than I expected – I find it more simple, calm, and soothing. There is a stillness about it, in that, perhaps, it causes stillness, but it itself does move pretty deeply. I wish I could describe it more. It’s like it is but isn’t there. However, I seem to be able to control – if that word applies – my nervousness and ‘top-heaviness’ much more easily. I feel my responses to stimuli becoming easier and easier. Except yesterday when I was napping, energizing myself, the phone rang, and I snapped out of bed like a bear trap. I may be beginning to realize its antiadrenalin effects. Or I may just be concentrating better today. Whatever it is, I’m glad to be a part of it. [I was having a strange phenomena occur during this perios in my life. Every morning I would wake up, my chest/heart would be gripped by anxiety, and it was incredibly painful and disturbing. I mention later on that after taking the AD transmission, which originally was described as having “antiadrenalin effects”, this phenomenon completely ceased.]
11/19/07 - [Some thoughts about energy healing in general.] I still have lots of reservations about being a healer or energy healing in general. With Reiki for instance, I don’t feel the energy very strongly at all; it’s very subtle if I feel much of anything. I don’t know if I should prepare more beforehand, spend more time concentrating on the energy or building it up, or just try to raise my awareness of its subtle flow, but there’s a part of me that lets it be invalidated by my lack of tactile experience. I’m used to feeling energy, and it takes a certain amount of faith, I think, to lay your hands on someone and believe you’re helping to heal them without feeling much at all. Maybe I’m fooling myself, actually, in that I do feel a significant amount of heat, but I assume heat accumulates between two warm blooded creatures in contact anyway. Perhaps I feel too personally invested in the process still. I remember an experience before I was attuned to Reiki or the AD where I told R. he could take whatever he wanted from me, and I touched his chest with my palm and he said he felt my “heat,” meaning energy, very strongly. I do notice that even when I’m self-healing, if I take a more passive attitude of “take what you will” then the energy flows much better. I guess I still have a lot to learn; must practice more.
I’m sure I’ve mentioned it in other journals, but just to be safe, I’ve been recording healing songs on my computer and e-mailing them to friends. Several people have responded very well to them, and others didn’t really notice anything. I want another flute, a lower one, to mix it up a little. Thought the one I have which I’ve been using more for the AD in general has a small symbol that I imagine to be the sort of signature of the craftsman that looks like a small arrow or triangle with a line coming down from the broad base. It’s almost exactly the sigil for the AD in my alphabet, though that alphabet being particularly simple and stick-form, it’s not surprising that such a sigil would emerge. Still, what are the odds?
I’m wondering exactly how to heal with AD, and a huge part of me regrets not being able to take the class. I will go back for my Level II transmission though, and hopefully that will once again reaffirm my belief and conviction that there’s truly something to all of this. And I will try to be more inquisitive with Koyote.
11/26/07 – Interesting questions on the AD Yahoo group [The Matrix of Light]. Someone is actually doing the exact same thing that I’ve been inspired to do, that is, activate the AD while performing certain mudras. I’ve always been fond of touching my ring and middle finger to my thumb; I don’t remember the name of it, but I remember it is supposed to bring a special power to the eyes. I can only imagine what meditating deeply while holding that mudra and focusing the AD on the tips of your fingers would do. Actually, when I was rolling a while back, I was sleeping alone and I focused that mudra with the AD on my base chakra and it was ecstasy. I hesitate to repeat such activities as I don’t know if that’s appropriate, really, but slightly irresponsible play is one of the ways I figure things out. I can be sloppy, but I always learn.
[The subtle shift.] I’m trying to pay closer attention to how I feel before activating the AD and after. From the start I have always noticed a subtle shift around me, a feeling of expansion, maybe a warmth and a lightening of the surrounding area. I remember distinctly Koyote saying to note how the AD changes everything in the room. I half understood half feigned understanding at the time, but I did feel I saw something different. In paying closer attention to the before and after effects, I’m starting to notice when and where the energy is flowing with greater ease.
I’ve been sending energy to people, thoughts, situations, objects(cars, dishes, unhealthy looking plants, etc.) when I feel they need some special attention or when I feel uneasy about them. I suppose riding as a passenger is the prime example. I’m always focusing my energy around our car and making a cushion between us and the other cars. I suppose I should be focusing on Russell and trying to ease his discomfort and disdain for bad drivers.
Last night I tried focusing on an entire group of people. The result was unsettling at first. I instantly became jittery and nervous as the energy poured out of my body. I thought for a moment, “Ah, crap. Why did I do that?” but I just relaxed and decided that it would stop eventually and everything would be better. And of course it did, rather soon, actually. It was just amazing to me how instant and drastic the result of intending to fill an entire room with the AD was. More evidence for using care and prudence.
11/27/07 – On that last thought, Pil. mentioned online that Koyote told them not to fall into the trap of doing “drive-by” healings and taking yourself out of the healing equation as many healers do with Reiki, saying, “It’ll just go where it needs to go.” I completely agree with that both in concept and experience. I’ve always thought that hand positions were a little redundant if the energy is intelligent enough to go where it needs to go. Then why should I do anything but simply call the energy as opposed to quasi-directing it with hand positions, etc?
Also, with the AD, I feel that my personal energy is a part of the equation, and that that may be part of what makes it so powerful. Yesterday I was activating the AD a lot and at one point I started to feel a very warm sensation in my solar plexus. It seemed to expand. [Passage finished 11-28-07] Now I seem to notice warmth every time I work with it for an extended period of time. [I no longer subscribe to the idea that personal bio energy or chi is a part of the AD. However, the AD does become part of your energy system once it's fully integrated and therefore begins to feel somewhat like one's own chi.]
11/28/07 – [Some thoughts on energy healing and magic.] I did a few magical workings yesterday with the AD and some pretty focused long-distance healings. The more I work with it the more I realize how much potential it has for personal power and transformation. I never thought of Reiki as a magical tool so much; part of me felt it was almost wrong to mix Reiki and magic, even in doing something as simple as charging a sigil with it, but the AD seems more appropriate somehow. Still I know I’m not “done” with Reiki or anything like that. It’s a powerful healing energy for body and spirit. I wouldn’t discredit my involvement with it for anything. I still want to be attuned to Level II. In fact I think that would probably be incredibly beneficial.
[Misconception that after the AD Level I transmission one has access to all varieties of AD. In truth, only one or two typically manifest.] I’ve noticed changes lately, now that I’ve been calling the AD by touching my fingertips together and really trying to go deeper and deeper into the experience. My attitude has been much better. In the shower today I almost started crying I felt so happy. And that was with 20 minutes or so left before I had to leave for work. I’m going back for my Level II AD attunement – apparently Level II is an attunement, not a transmission, and allows access to all the other modes of AD, i.e. solar, volcanic, etc. – next Tuesday after work. I’m excited about it. I was originally under the impression that one already had all the aspects of AD and could switch between them at will, and that during a healing session the energy would change according to what that person needs. But apparently that’s not the case. I think I have lunar and atmospheric. I notice that while charging my sigil for Riverside I get a very powerful magnetic draw with a little heat. While charging Jam.’s sigil it feels normal, warm, not fuzzy but as a sort of soft spherical field of energy. But while charging R’s it feels cool, more serious, blue/gray, and slick. I will ask Koyote about it when I see him.
11/30/07 – Someone else from the group spontaneously started combining the AD with mudras. Since I feel the energy most strongly when touching the tips of my fingers together – in steepling – I’ve been wondering if there is a connection between the aspects of the AD and the alchemical association of each finger. Would one finger be considered lunar, one atmospheric, etc? Thus in touching all the fingers together, one would be combing the powers of all the aspects of the AD. It seems pretty straightforward. I’ve wondered about that for a while, but I can only find reference to the planetary associations of the fingers, nothing to do with other elements. I suppose that’s just as good, but I don’t know my astrological correspondences.