The Stone???

Posted on September 26, 2012 by sadhaka

Following is a letter I just wrote to a dear soul who is obviously interested in “The Great Work” or Ormus or alchemy in general who pointed me to a forum which was obviously misguided and helping to spread bad information about what Ormus isn’t, and I just thought it was a good idea to post it here for posterity. I’ve gotten at least two links to “secret” articles about “the real alchemy” in the past from people who obviously mean well but are too easily swayed by people who write or speak well and attempt to use this recent resurgence of interest in alchemy to capitalize on it in any way they can.

Steer clear of anyone claiming to have the real truth, the only truth, or anyone who decries all other methods as false or worthless. ~ sadhaka

Hi there. Thanks for connecting. Ask away, I’m here to be a resource. =O)

I really don’t know what you’re asking. Is this in regards to Ormus, the Aka Dua, Light Language? I cover a lot of info on my channel, so you’ll need to be specific. I personally don’t go out for the forums about Ormus or the Philospher’s Stone or whatever because they’re typically full of a bunch of paranoid wannabe alchemists who take themselves and their specious beliefs way too seriously.

Ormus occurs in nature. No big whoop. It has associations and correspondences with alchemical processes, and I admit I did feel rather mad scientisty when I first started making it myself, and I even entertain the notion that I WAS an alchemist in a past life or something, but when it comes down to it, it’s just a substance that occurs in nature that happens to be extremely good for you physically, energetically, and by extension of all of these, spiritually.

It won’t break open your 3rd eye and give you spiritual vision, it won’t make you levitate or instantly manifest your thoughts, it won’t turn you into a superwoman or solve all your problems.

It WILL clear a lot of energetic gunk out of your system, make you feel lighter, brighter, and possibly happier. It WILL help your immune system in the long-term, just like eating healthy food in the long-term will help your immune system. It WILL give you more energy and vibrancy in the long-term and make your body a better receptor for higher spiritual energy, and that may lead you to more frequent and intense spiritual experiences.

So my advice is make it, take it, and find out for yourself. All this stuff about mercury and the stone and people dying or suddenly ascending is mostly hogwash. You can usually tell when something is suspect by the language they use. If they’re calling each other “brother” and belong “orders” and speak in florid, pompous, old-fashioned phrases, throw them out the friggin’ window.

This is of course my personal take on it. Several people have contacted me over the years claiming to have “special” access to the “new alchemy” or whatever and point me to unctuously written drivel the claims they’ve discovered the “real” meaning behind some special alchemy or the stone and that it’s going to save all mankind. Then or course they seem to completely drop off the face of the earth with absolutely no proof of their own work, or they’re continuously “perfecting” the work and put it off until no one gives a shit anymore and forgets.

Ormus is ormus and it’s fantastic. Make some yourself. Here’s a great link. I have nothing to do with this company:

http://www.quantumbalancing.com/make_ormus.htm

Here’s another great link. I have EVERYTHING to do with this company, lol! =O)

http://naeona.com/

That’s my website and Ormus storefront. Buy some of you like, but I always recommend everyone make it for herself. It’s easy and much more cost-effective.

Cheers! Let me know if that helps, answers your questions, or raises more,
sadhaka

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Wine Lust Love

Posted on July 4, 2012 by sadhaka

Bad habits. I still like to party on the weekends. The workweek comes to a close and I get the Gay Man’s itch – no, not that kind – and feel like I have to go out; I need culture, I need socialization… I need booze! For quite a while there I was at least saving it for the weekend. Now every once in a while I’m having wine during the workweek again. It certainly wouldn’t be a problem if I knew how not to drink the whole damn bottle, but alas…

It also wouldn’t be much of a problem if I didn’t realize how many energetic channels it clogs up. Something interesting in a book on Neigong I’m reading, one eventually becomes so sensitive to energy that one tends to give up drinking entirely because hangovers seem to last for days. I’M THERE. It seems no matter how little I drink, if it’s more than just a few glasses of wine, I’ll be feeling it three days later. The state it puts me in is so annoying and distracting and frustrating, it’s a wonder I still drink at all. How can one so compelled by the energy work he’s doing practically every day throw cultivation out the window for a few moments of unadulterated silliness?

I am the Lust card. “I am the Snake that giveth Knowledge and Delight and bright glory, and stir the hearts of men with drunkenness. To worship me take wine and strange drugs whereof I will tell my prophet, and be drunk thereof! They shall not harm ye at all. It is a lie, this folly against self. The exposure of innocence is a lie. Be strong, O man! lust, enjoy all things of sense and rapture: fear not that any God shall deny thee for this.”

True… but what about the morning after? As Picard was once inclined to say, “Enough of this self-indulgence.”

Moving on to lighter subjects, lately I’m feeling drunk on love. Oh, yes. Romantic love. Cheesy, corny, beautiful, butt-crazy puppy love. Just when you stop searching – assuming you’ve done enough to set the wheels of personal abundance karma in motion (yeah, I just made up that term) – the Universe goes “PSYCH!” and hands you a love to rival Tristan and Iseult, Romeo and Juliet… Harry and Sally. The Universe hands you something so pure, it’s impossible to look at it in any light whatsoever without seeing its innocence, its beauty, its idyllic perfection. I’m not just waxing poetic here; this love is scaring the shit out of me. As a rule I avoid absolutes and absolute categorization; nothing is perfect and everything can change. But I use my intuition, my Spiritual sight, and I’m nearly moved to tears every time because no matter how hard I try to see the flaws in this love, they’re just not there. There’s nothing in our way.

To have him closer would perhaps make me clean up my act a little, but that’s ultimately a lie. I could see it starting that way then falling back into my old habits. And yet to be drunk on love, wholly, fully satiated on the beauty the Universe has made physical before your eyes, who the hell needs wine?

Posted in Energy Healing, Personal Journal | Leave a comment

Musings about Sigil Magic

Posted on June 14, 2012 by sadhaka

I don’t engage much in Sigil Magic anymore – and for those of you just beginning to read this blog or who have only ever heard me say the word “magic,” I don’t use “magick” because I think it’s unnecessary and stupid and reminds me of fat gay Wiccans who think they’re special – but I do still care very deeply about symbols and their use in manifestation, healing, and opening doors to storerooms of specialized types of energy. (Yeah, sounds like magic, I guess…)

A Spirit Brother recently wrote me a few times asking me about the use of sigils. Here is my response to one of those e-mails:

“Hey there. I think you wrote another email after this, but I’ll respond to this one first. Yes, I would say there are more and less effective ways to charge sigils. But it’s my belief that it depends more on what you ask for rather than how you ask for it. (But of course both are significant.) I used to ask for “high” spiritual things, like “fully open my crown chakra” and “I reach enlightenment” and that kind of thing. How the hell do you gauge whether or not that’s working? It’s certainly not going to come instantly…

Have you read Liber Kaos? The author goes into an interesting scientific explanation of how magic works. It’s sort of like reading a physics manual, at least in the beginning. You might find that illuminating.

I’m kind of old-school though and I don’t really care HOW it works as long as it works. In my studies, I found that the ancient Chinese Daoist magicians used pretty much the same type of techniques that we do. They would have a wand or a brush and slowly trace or draw their symbols on pieces of paper while imagining them to be hot with glowing red Qi (or some other powerful energy.) I know chaos magicians don’t like to visualize much, but it’s really your strength of intent, your unwavering focus and belief that as you are drawing it, YES, you are imbuing this symbol with incredibly powerful energy, and that in a sense the sigil/symbol/your intent is becoming alive. Then afterward, you don’t even have to sit yourself down in a ritualized fashion to keep giving it more energy. Just focus, breathe slowly with your movements, and imagine Qi flowing to your symbol as you trace it slowly with your finger.

Then depending on the type of ritual and whether or not you want to continue building energy around this sigil for a long time, you can burn it as a way of firing it into the universe. This also suggests – and therefore should be taken with the attitude that – you are completely letting go of this desire, so as to allow it to come back to you.
That feeling in your chest [he described a vibration in his chest area sometimes while focusing on his sigils] is your heart chakra doing what it does best: manifesting. And props on using the feeling of elation to charge sigils as well. In my experience, positive feelings work much better than negatives ones, although that’s debatable. If you can learn to smile and make your heart chakra respond – this is natural but most people can’t feel it at first; smiling opens the crown chakra and allows more spiritual energy to flow downward – then you can allow that energy to build and use it charge your sigil.

What I try to do – although I don’t use symbols when I do it – is smile and become filled with joy at the fact that my desire has ALREADY manifested. I think of how happy it’s ALREADY making me, how it’s exactly what I wanted, no hangups, no regrets. If there is any doubt in your mind as to whether you SHOULD be manifesting for this desire, stop and reevaluate why you want it in the first place, whether you can phrase the desire better, etc. I have the ability to allow a great deal of Shen – high spiritual energy – to flow through me at any time. I use this to fire desires now, and things seem to just flow into my life naturally.

Sexual energy is also very powerful, but it works more slowly. Incidentally, you can learn to use your sexual energy in magical work WITHOUT achieving orgasm. Orgasm is used by most chaos magicians because it’s a quick sure-fire method. But the point is to become rapt in the object, the sigil, and to merge with it, and then to find some method of firing, i.e., orgasm, burning the sigil, hyperventilating and passing out, etc. I think since orgasm naturally follows the activities that produce greater amounts of sexual energy, it’s the obvious choice.”

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Manifest Home Fries

Posted on June 12, 2012 by sadhaka

This is sort of new for me even though it’s old-hat and completely natural at this point; I’ve been keeping a journal since I was 15 years old and had nothing to write about except my cat and my immature musings about Shakespeare and homosexuality – not together, of course. The strangest part about this though is that I’ve always written in an extremely self-conscious manner, like someone was reading my journal from the future, and thus my style and words are nearly always influenced by that.

Now I actually have a upwards of 1,000 people who might actually be paying attention. That paranoid fantasy of mine, the future reader, has been manifest in the present in the form of YouTube subscribers who actually care about what I have to say. Some of them even care enough to donate money to my “cause,” whatever that may be, and I find myself feeling constantly humbled and blessed every time I open my PayPal account.

I have no idea whether this blog will be about my personal life or about my spiritual life or about the yummy home fries cooking downstairs. If people care enough about other people’s lives to comment on grocery lists and half-overheard gobbets on Facebook and Twitter, they might actually care about what their friendly neighborhood shaman is cooking for lunch today. I suppose we’ll see.

Personal stuff: I have a boyfriend. He’s beautiful, he’s young, he’s the sweetest thing ever. He smiles like me. He knows how to cook and how to garden. HE’S A FIREMAN. ::fans self:: He likes to stay home and do home things, like cook and play video games and read. He was raised a Jehovah’s Witness for a while, which wouldn’t be a plus but for the fact that I was raised a JW from birth and it’s nice to have someone who can understand that world. (It’s 11:11 AM.) He likes to say my name with a thick New England accent. He likes to save money and to travel. He has hazel eyes.

I’ve been casually bringing up the “spiritual stuff,” which is to say he doesn’t as yet know that I regularly enter trances and speak in tongues and communicate with the dead. I’m saving that for a special moment like an anniversary or a birthday. “Honey, I love you, and I just want you to know that I’m a neoshamanic Deathwalker. More wine?” Honestly, I don’t think he would give a shit; he loves me too much to care… but also so much that he just might care.

I gave him some light Reiki once. He said thank you and hugged me and promptly fell asleep. He was tired but I prefer to think it was the energy work that helped him sleep so deeply. Energy work is tricky. Some people don’t feel anything, others have such strong reactions that they’re shivering and nauseous after I work on them. I almost prefer the latter just so I know I’m having an effect.

Spiritual stuff: Revisiting my notions of Neigong. What I was taught was in no way a complete system, and it’s arguable whether one could even call it Neigong. It’s just a few practices lifted from other systems and repackaged for impatient Westerners looking for dramatic magic. Not that I don’t owe a huge debt to the system and to my teacher. I just think the labeling is wrong.

Neigong is a life-long practice to restore the body to a youthful, healthy energetic state and realize higher spirituality in the process. One of the focuses is converting Jing to Qi and Qi to Shen and Shen back to the primal energy of the Dao. Through my own practice, I believe I’ve at least converted a lot of Jing to Qi, if not also a lot of Qi to Shen – to me, evinced by the fact that I can easily move my sexual/Jing energy anywhere in my body – but the finer points, little things in between, have been completely left out or ignored, like relaxing, like relearning how to breathe, like paying attention to the flow of Qi along with the breath, like systematically releasing old trauma from the bones, joints, muscle tissues and organs.

Well, I’m here now, at the point of revisiting all these processes and trying to “go deeper.” So in a way, my teacher was right: the one practice is all you need. Those who don’t get to this place obviously missed the point of the one practice, or at least misinterpreted its effects. Still I think the approach of the system is quite misguided.

When I was in Chicago, Davida played this DVD called Jade Woman Qigong. I didn’t follow along for the whole thing, but the forms impressed me so much I quickly made a copy of it. (Shoosh. Don’t tell anyone.) I’ve been practicing at home regularly. Even though it’s specifically geared toward women, the teacher even mentions it’s also beneficial for men. I just find her approach so much more… approachable than most others I’ve seen. And since the forms I’ve been practicing for so long are actually female-oriented anyway – in Qigong, meaning they focus on the flow of energy through the body rather than on storing it up – I figured it was a natural progression. Plus as a gay man, I consider myself to embody the female spirit, at least in theory. Plus it came from Davida!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Ormus – The Beginning

Posted on April 20, 2011 by sadhaka

Following are a few excerpts from my personal journal when I first started making and taking Ormus. This will be a continuing series. – sadhaka

3/3/09 – 5:05 – I have the Stone! Or what some would call the stone, that is. Without using pH strips and going on my own wacky intuition, I was able to precipitate a huge amount of Ormus. Going too fast as I normally do, I had the inkling I would be able to finish the whole procedure tonight and start taking it immediately. But thank heavens I didn’t! I took the water off of the original precipitate and back into another jar and decided to add more lye to see what would happen, and that’s when I found the huge amount of Ormus. I’m still washing the final product, and I may in fact continue to attempt to extract more from that batch as well; this stuff is everywhere hiding in the cracks.

While I was doing the experiment, I was overcome by blissful excitement. I was laughing like a mad scientist. I don’t know if I was going through some kind of initiation or preparation, as the alchemist who is transformed as he transforms lead into gold, but it sure felt significant. It could also have been my own excitement at the mere fact the experiment actually worked. I could feel the presence of the Ormus as I was working. I knew it was there, somewhere. I could feel the power of it.

There was a tiny amount left in a jar I was using to wash it, so I washed it some more and poured it into a glass. I immediately felt it loosen something in my chest. I did feel a little spacey, but I don’t need to ingest anything to feel like that, especially lately. Then R. came home and said my eyes looked weird, like I was on some kind of drug. That made me smile.

3-3-09 – Ormus experiment going well. I guess I didn’t yield quite as much as I thought I had before, but it’s more than enough to last a while. Also I thought I might be overdoing it at first with the number of times I had taken it – I’ve taken it four times today – but after the last wash, I realized that what I had been taking was only a fraction of the good stuff, but I took a few droppers full just now. I believe there is a definite difference, although the essence of it is the same. It seems to be helping me with energetic strength and the ability to handle incoming energy.

Right now after taking a dropper full of the “good stuff,” I feel pretty energized and slightly blissful. There’s also a sexual or sensual component to this stuff. I think it might help increase jing. If that’s the case, I’ll have R. start taking it if he’s not too wary. I’m all new to this stuff, so I don’t know if I could throw myself into a healing crisis by taking too much or what, but I’m so interested in its effects that I want to do something stupid like down the whole bottle. I’ve been having the “frequency sound shift” I sometimes get where my hearing tightens up and something stats ringing in my ears.

3/4/11 – 2:20 PM – Oh, goodness. I don’t know if yesterday was about getting my body used to this stuff or something, but today the experience of taking the Ormus seems completely different. I took some in water this morning and it made me feel more normal; I didn’t turn into agro-sadhaka on the freeway, and I even attempted to “undo” some bad karma I may have run into or created the other day at Jack in the Box. Feeling good. I just got home after work and (2:22) took some of the water off the settled layer in the small jar and put it in a glass to drink. The taste was stronger and it tingled under my tongue, and I felt an immediate rush. I think it might be best taken sublingually or at least swirled around in the mouth for a little while first. I took some more when I felt that and now I’m kind of excited, sensually and mentally because I feel this giddiness like I’ve been practicing Kunlun or giving myself deeksha for a while. I hope it stays with me. I hope this turns out to be a valuable tool.

2:45 – I’m surrounded by a big energy, a sort of field like a halo or something. It reminds me of when I first connected to my Holy Guardian Angel – or it connected to me, rather – and I had the sense of a large presence emanating around my body. It’s as though it’s a bigger me, somehow outside of myself and simultaneously emanating from within. Difficult to describe, wonderful to feel. I think under normal circumstances, normal being most people without the assistance and support of fabulous practices like KL and the AD, this would have induced a healing crisis, but I’m already so magnetically used to this from KL that I’m able to process it quickly. I’ve also been aware of a different nasal drip, almost like my nasal passages are clearing out, but there’s a different taste to the mucous than I’m used to. It may be a detox or it may be the beginnings of that substance that people talk about. We’ll see.

4:21 – So the Ormus seems to be causing an amplification of the process I’m already going through. I’m able to tell exactly what my body needs all of sudden, as if I can see what eating a certain thing would do to me as soon as I think about it. It’s like extended intuition, and the intuitions are getting clearer. I’m ramped with energy right now, possible because I haven’t eaten lunch and attempted to do a salt water cleanse, but nothing has happened so far. I think it’s because I took fiber too. But that was in my intuition as well, so I think it will turn out to be a good thing. I’m going crazy thinking about talking on the radio about my book – which of course I haven’t written yet – and also thinking about the story itself. I suppose that’s more productive than imagining talking about it, but they both fuel its eventual manifestation. I always have been a little far off with my positive thinking though. I think about the results instead of the product. Hmm.

3/8/09 – I just overloaded myself. Really. I put Ormus in my tea and forgot there was already some in my water. Ahem. Feeling good, I decided to jog. With all these energies coming through, I was able to jog harder and longer than I ever have before with relatively no tiring whatsoever. When I finished, I felt amazing. I was having all this stuff come through – images, ideas, maps – and I know it will be there for later. I went into the bathroom to shower, and I did Maoshan Five Elements. Then when I was finished, I snapped. It was like all of a sudden I had to come back to “reality” – I snapped back into my normal lower energy walking around in a dream state, really – and I almost blacked out. I realized I was a little stoned, both from weed and Ormus, and I had just really pushed myself physically. I did some grounding stuff, but I almost couldn’t make it to the shower, I was so spent. All this had led to the realization that my 2nd Chakra is the most out of whack or lacking in energy. Time for some serious work down there.

3/20/11 – 4:55 – Another burnout. I should have known by the amount of energy that was coming through. I probably overdosed on Ormus again. I forget that the initial “rush” you get form taking it is not indication of what it’s going to do later. All in all I didn’t take that much, but this stuff is much better quality than the last batch. I can tell I’m out of whack now – receiving too much and not processing enough – because my left eye is brighter than my right eye. I was feeling good but I did crack something open with the new sword finger golden scalp technique. Not two minutes after I finished that last paragraph, Russell walked in. I hadn’t gotten a drink of water yet. I told him I was queasy and he said, “I’m glad I nauseate you,” jokingly. Then he suggested we have sex, which I’ll never turn down, and the physical exertion was a bit much. In the shower afterwards, it reminded me of when I almost blacked out the other day from too much exercise and Ormus. That should be a warning on the label perhaps.

3-21-09 – I guess yesterday was the Equinox. I didn’t realize that or I would have performed some kind of ritual. Interesting that I had quite an eye-opening experience anyway.

This batch of Ormus is much cleaner than the last one. I think I’ve finally got the process down, as in I know what I’m shooting for, though I don’t necessarily have it down to a science. I’m new to this stuff, and I tend to rush things, of course. But the quality of it is drastically better. I gives a feeling of contentment and calm, whereas the other stuff was kind of rushy.

4/23/09 – So I bought some Himalayan salt at Clarke’s, made Ormus and over did the mixture, so I ended up with basically no precipitate whatsoever. At first I thought the Himalayan salt didn’t yield very much, then I realized I had just messed up the process. The Mediterranean salt I bought for a buck fifty at Trader Joe’s yields some good results too, but it’s touchy. Then I realized I had enough Celtic Sea salt left for another batch. That stuff is miraculous. It’s dirty, but it yields the most precipitate. I guess it’s the mineral content that counts. However, today I was able to get more out of the Himalayan salt crystals than yesterday. I’ve been drinking what little I have, and it’s a totally mellow Ormus buzz as compared to the Celtic salt precipitate. I can’t wait to have a full batch ready.

4-29-09 – 8:15 AM – UCR, WMSTD Department – I have a cold again. I’m starting to wonder if this Ormus I’m making isn’t precipitating out metals from the water that are toxic to me. I looked up metal toxicity on-line and it says nothing about a constant runny nose and allergy like symptoms. Maybe I just keep picking up crap from these freakin’ students at all the universities I work at. At first I assumed the Ormus I was taking was purifying me, as in I had taken too much again and brought this upon myself. I was taking big doses of it to test out the strength, but while I didn’t feel much of anything besides an immediate and obvious auric bolstering – I didn’t feel completely widened or much of a rush like before – after a few large doses over the course of a few days, my nose began to run. I thought, “Great! I’m detoxing,” and that it would be over in a few hours. It’s been two days. I’m laying off the Ormus for a little while. Maybe this is an already pretty clear body’s version of a healing crisis. If it wasn’t for KL and other things…

9:19 AM – I don’t know how long I’ve been using phrases like, “I’m becoming so sensitive that…” and “The more sensitive I become…”, but it’s becoming kind of uncanny. I can sense the feelings on old shirt and pants. I’m constantly seeing energy fly around, shapes mingle, pieces of debris fly away. I’ve been seeing big blobs of things shy away from me and scurry around the floor. At Clarke’s yesterday, I was standing next to a woman in line and big surges of tingly energy kept sweeping off of me. Lately I’ve been hearing beeps and clicks and bells out of nowhere, psychic confirmation of thoughts and ideas. I’ve been taking the Ormus I made from Pink Himalayan Salt, and while it yielded almost nothing, it’s a very refined energy. I mix it with a dropper of the Celtic Sea Salt Ormus, and the combination is wonderful.

Every time I sit down to practice, do a banishing ritual, or even just think about a goddess or entity, I feel surges of energy, magnetic draws, head changes, tingles, joy, etc. Last night I decided to call up Vywamus, and it was an immediate change to an energy I hadn’t experienced before. It was almost cartoon like, and I began to sway the way he swayed when he moved his head strangely in a circle. I filled my space with Onnamai Reiki, and I had a stronger sense of it as my Reiki, an expression of Reiki that has interacted with my specific HGA to create something new. That Onnamai means enraptured in Japanese makes sense; the feeling I get when I’m perfectly still and content but feeling connected to Source and to mySelf is very similar to the feeling that this energy instills.

6-29-09 – It’s difficult to tell which is which because I’ve been working with both the new Krishna Dikxa current and the Oneness Deeksha, but I think the KD is taking care of my confidence issues. I’m not walking around like a badass or anything, but for just the past two days – 2:54 – the currents have been extremely powerful today. 4:00 – Yesterday I took a large dose of Ormus, so I’m wondering if that’s what’s causing the incredible shift in field strength and current strength I’m feeling from the Dikxas. I practiced a little yesterday, mostly to clear the space for a stronger Dikxa experience, and while it worked, it was brief and not as involved as I would have liked. With both lately there has been the feeling of astonishment, and once while practicing and invoking Krishna and KD current, I could barely believe my eyes even though I was staring at a blank wall. (That’s more common with KD than OD, which tends more to feel more like a falling inward.) 4:14 – But since yesterday every time I call any type of energy, it comes through so strongly and physically that I feel like my entire body is expanding as the energy that flows outward. 4:18 – I don’t know what’s going on exactly. I was worried that OD was losing strength or that my connection to it wasn’t as strong as before or not really what people were experiencing at the Oneness University. Today it’s come through so strongly and made me feel so much peace, my fears are assuaged.

8/9/09 – 5:38. Made a new kind of Ormus today. I’ve been applying the technique of bringing things to life with the AD and giving transmissions, that is, hopefully giving objects the ability to express a piece of the AD on their own. I’m not so sure that that works exactly yet, but it will. And “bringing them to life” is completely powerful in itself. I’ve decided to use the modified Reiki master symbol and the Cho Ku Ret for this purpose. Sword fingers of course, and the magnetic power of KL and the deepest feeling of the whole of the AD I can muster. The Ormus I made today is from sea salt from the isle of Noirmoutier. I brought it to life and gave it some AD, and I can’t remember if I was specifically thinking of its expressing the L variety or of that’s just what it did, but it’s very lunar in quality now. Whether that’s as a result of my transmission or not remains to be seen. All in all this could be the best Ormus I’ve made so far, not in its strength or whatever but in its purity and balance.

Posted in Ormus, Personal Journal | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

sadhaka’s old journal ii – aka dua

Posted on April 1, 2011 by sadhaka

~ Here are some excerpts from my personal journal from 2007 about the Aka Dua. I had just received the Aka Dua transmission and was beginning the most spiritually transformative period of my life up to that point. It is interesting to look back now and see what I was thinking then and realize how far I’ve come in such a short period of time. I hope you enjoy it. ~ sadhaka, 4/1/11

9/13/07 – [At this point, I had had the A(ka)D(dua) for about a month. Many of the thoughts I express changed drastically as I became more in tune with the AD, its effects and character.] The Aka Dua… what to say? It’s there but it isn’t. Something so powerful should in theory be more opaque, more obvious. It’s impossible to define so far. Changeable, extremely deep, ancient. It’s like it creates the space for more energy to flow in rather than forcing it in. At first I was seeing it as yellowish white, but I asked it to change to blue and the quality of the energy instantly changed dramatically. A few times I think I’ve seen what it is for itself, or at least for me by itself, as a kind of soft bluish lavender. At times while channeling it, it makes me giddy, almost the way opening up with Deeksha can do, but it feels more empowering and kind of mischievous.

9/20/07 – I think in acclimating to the Aka Dua – which has become, I believe, a longer process for me than I expected – I find it more simple, calm, and soothing. There is a stillness about it, in that, perhaps, it causes stillness, but it itself does move pretty deeply. I wish I could describe it more. It’s like it is but isn’t there. However, I seem to be able to control – if that word applies – my nervousness and ‘top-heaviness’ much more easily. I feel my responses to stimuli becoming easier and easier. Except yesterday when I was napping, energizing myself, the phone rang, and I snapped out of bed like a bear trap. I may be beginning to realize its antiadrenalin effects. Or I may just be concentrating better today. Whatever it is, I’m glad to be a part of it. [I was having a strange phenomena occur during this perios in my life. Every morning I would wake up, my chest/heart would be gripped by anxiety, and it was incredibly painful and disturbing. I mention later on that after taking the AD transmission, which originally was described as having “antiadrenalin effects”, this phenomenon completely ceased.]

11/19/07 - [Some thoughts about energy healing in general.] I still have lots of reservations about being a healer or energy healing in general. With Reiki for instance, I don’t feel the energy very strongly at all; it’s very subtle if I feel much of anything. I don’t know if I should prepare more beforehand, spend more time concentrating on the energy or building it up, or just try to raise my awareness of its subtle flow, but there’s a part of me that lets it be invalidated by my lack of tactile experience. I’m used to feeling energy, and it takes a certain amount of faith, I think, to lay your hands on someone and believe you’re helping to heal them without feeling much at all. Maybe I’m fooling myself, actually, in that I do feel a significant amount of heat, but I assume heat accumulates between two warm blooded creatures in contact anyway. Perhaps I feel too personally invested in the process still. I remember an experience before I was attuned to Reiki or the AD where I told R. he could take whatever he wanted from me, and I touched his chest with my palm and he said he felt my “heat,” meaning energy, very strongly. I do notice that even when I’m self-healing, if I take a more passive attitude of “take what you will” then the energy flows much better. I guess I still have a lot to learn; must practice more.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned it in other journals, but just to be safe, I’ve been recording healing songs on my computer and e-mailing them to friends. Several people have responded very well to them, and others didn’t really notice anything. I want another flute, a lower one, to mix it up a little. Thought the one I have which I’ve been using more for the AD in general has a small symbol that I imagine to be the sort of signature of the craftsman that looks like a small arrow or triangle with a line coming down from the broad base. It’s almost exactly the sigil for the AD in my alphabet, though that alphabet being particularly simple and stick-form, it’s not surprising that such a sigil would emerge. Still, what are the odds?

I’m wondering exactly how to heal with AD, and a huge part of me regrets not being able to take the class. I will go back for my Level II transmission though, and hopefully that will once again reaffirm my belief and conviction that there’s truly something to all of this. And I will try to be more inquisitive with Koyote.

11/26/07 – Interesting questions on the AD Yahoo group [The Matrix of Light]. Someone is actually doing the exact same thing that I’ve been inspired to do, that is, activate the AD while performing certain mudras. I’ve always been fond of touching my ring and middle finger to my thumb; I don’t remember the name of it, but I remember it is supposed to bring a special power to the eyes. I can only imagine what meditating deeply while holding that mudra and focusing the AD on the tips of your fingers would do. Actually, when I was rolling a while back, I was sleeping alone and I focused that mudra with the AD on my base chakra and it was ecstasy. I hesitate to repeat such activities as I don’t know if that’s appropriate, really, but slightly irresponsible play is one of the ways I figure things out. I can be sloppy, but I always learn.

[The subtle shift.] I’m trying to pay closer attention to how I feel before activating the AD and after. From the start I have always noticed a subtle shift around me, a feeling of expansion, maybe a warmth and a lightening of the surrounding area. I remember distinctly Koyote saying to note how the AD changes everything in the room. I half understood half feigned understanding at the time, but I did feel I saw something different. In paying closer attention to the before and after effects, I’m starting to notice when and where the energy is flowing with greater ease.

I’ve been sending energy to people, thoughts, situations, objects(cars, dishes, unhealthy looking plants, etc.) when I feel they need some special attention or when I feel uneasy about them. I suppose riding as a passenger is the prime example. I’m always focusing my energy around our car and making a cushion between us and the other cars. I suppose I should be focusing on Russell and trying to ease his discomfort and disdain for bad drivers.

Last night I tried focusing on an entire group of people. The result was unsettling at first. I instantly became jittery and nervous as the energy poured out of my body. I thought for a moment, “Ah, crap. Why did I do that?” but I just relaxed and decided that it would stop eventually and everything would be better. And of course it did, rather soon, actually. It was just amazing to me how instant and drastic the result of intending to fill an entire room with the AD was. More evidence for using care and prudence.

11/27/07 – On that last thought, Pil. mentioned online that Koyote told them not to fall into the trap of doing “drive-by” healings and taking yourself out of the healing equation as many healers do with Reiki, saying, “It’ll just go where it needs to go.” I completely agree with that both in concept and experience. I’ve always thought that hand positions were a little redundant if the energy is intelligent enough to go where it needs to go. Then why should I do anything but simply call the energy as opposed to quasi-directing it with hand positions, etc?

Also, with the AD, I feel that my personal energy is a part of the equation, and that that may be part of what makes it so powerful. Yesterday I was activating the AD a lot and at one point I started to feel a very warm sensation in my solar plexus. It seemed to expand. [Passage finished 11-28-07] Now I seem to notice warmth every time I work with it for an extended period of time. [I no longer subscribe to the idea that personal bio energy or chi is a part of the AD. However, the AD does become part of your energy system once it's fully integrated and therefore begins to feel somewhat like one's own chi.]

11/28/07 – [Some thoughts on energy healing and magic.] I did a few magical workings yesterday with the AD and some pretty focused long-distance healings. The more I work with it the more I realize how much potential it has for personal power and transformation. I never thought of Reiki as a magical tool so much; part of me felt it was almost wrong to mix Reiki and magic, even in doing something as simple as charging a sigil with it, but the AD seems more appropriate somehow. Still I know I’m not “done” with Reiki or anything like that. It’s a powerful healing energy for body and spirit. I wouldn’t discredit my involvement with it for anything. I still want to be attuned to Level II. In fact I think that would probably be incredibly beneficial.

[Misconception that after the AD Level I transmission one has access to all varieties of AD. In truth, only one or two typically manifest.] I’ve noticed changes lately, now that I’ve been calling the AD by touching my fingertips together and really trying to go deeper and deeper into the experience. My attitude has been much better. In the shower today I almost started crying I felt so happy. And that was with 20 minutes or so left before I had to leave for work. I’m going back for my Level II AD attunement – apparently Level II is an attunement, not a transmission, and allows access to all the other modes of AD, i.e. solar, volcanic, etc. – next Tuesday after work. I’m excited about it. I was originally under the impression that one already had all the aspects of AD and could switch between them at will, and that during a healing session the energy would change according to what that person needs. But apparently that’s not the case. I think I have lunar and atmospheric. I notice that while charging my sigil for Riverside I get a very powerful magnetic draw with a little heat. While charging Jam.’s sigil it feels normal, warm, not fuzzy but as a sort of soft spherical field of energy. But while charging R’s it feels cool, more serious, blue/gray, and slick. I will ask Koyote about it when I see him.

11/30/07 – Someone else from the group spontaneously started combining the AD with mudras. Since I feel the energy most strongly when touching the tips of my fingers together – in steepling – I’ve been wondering if there is a connection between the aspects of the AD and the alchemical association of each finger. Would one finger be considered lunar, one atmospheric, etc? Thus in touching all the fingers together, one would be combing the powers of all the aspects of the AD. It seems pretty straightforward. I’ve wondered about that for a while, but I can only find reference to the planetary associations of the fingers, nothing to do with other elements. I suppose that’s just as good, but I don’t know my astrological correspondences.

Posted in Aka Dua, Energy Healing, Personal Journal | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

sadhaka’s old journal i – kunlun

Posted on March 31, 2011 by sadhaka

Here are some of my journal entries about my introduction to Kunlun Neigung, deciding to pursue the practice, and a few dreams I had during that time period. Every once in a while, I insert a current comment in brackets:

5-27-08 – Had a wonderful time with N. the other day. He came down after a ceremony in Joshua Tree late Sunday and stayed till Monday afternoon. He’s been practicing Kunlun Bliss for quite a while now, and I finally got to see firsthand what that entails. There were a few times before we went out to the Tree – that park down by Blaine and Mt. Vernon – and he let himself slip into ecstasy that I caught glimpses of bliss in him for no apparent reason and glimpses of a shared cosmic giggle, that repressed joke with no punchline that is the very heart of the Universe. We did some energy work Monday morning and he was twitching a little and repressing laughter. When we got to the Tree we hiked up for quite a while, got up very high where we could see almost all of Riverside – it was a beautiful, crisp day with Simpsons clouds floating by – and he proceeded in his practice.

I recall Sh. slipping into divine ecstasy at his center opening, but this was even more intense seeming. Of a different nature of course, more violently orgasmic, like kundalini rising and twisting him into all kinds of spontaneous yoga positions and mudras, heavy breathing and panting, laughing . I had a similar response when I saw Shyam collapse to the floor laughing; I was skeptical at first, questioning his sanity or at least his mental stability. I’ve never been one for hyper-emotional states, loud chanting – except for now, of course, in private – speaking in tongues and that seemingly gratuitous spirituality. Then after I knew he was okay – and as with Shyam, after I felt it too – I just did what I could do myself, meditated and channeled the AD. It was interesting to see his reactions to that energy. It would sometimes ground him, calm him down, sometimes cause him to make different sounds, etc. Standing very near him I could feel some of his bliss, but this is another transmission system that I don’t think you can tap into unless you’ve been initiated, of course.

I’m very jealous for this gift now, of course, like I desperately wanted to dig up five grand to go to India and go through the 21-day Oneness process after experiencing the bliss that Deeksha can open you up to. The Kunlun workshop is $300, seemingly well worth it. Strangely, in thinking about shelling out the money for it, I found myself feeling like my conception of a healer for possibly the first time; I actually thought, This would be a wonderful gift to myself, but would I be able to help heal others with it? That was in the bathroom by the Engineering building at UCR. I just spent $90 at the VIP on Saturday when we didn’t even want to go. I spent $118 at Stater brothers on some things we needed and the rest on food for a spontaneous barbecue at which no one even stayed for very long.

5/28/08 – So many questions. I’m going to consult the Tarot when I get home and hopefully I will have some answers. I’m so nervous about this venture and so ready to take a leap… I’ve had so many amazing experiences lately with Deeksha and my personal connection to AVN. My energetic sense is changing all the time. The Aka Dua has been a source of inspiration, wonder, and powerful healing for me and, I hope, others. I feel if I can break through with this feminine Kunlun energy [I no longer consider KL to be an energy] and really hurl myself into the Source for some dramatic healing whenever I so choose, it will transform my body, my vocational life, my spiritual life, my relationship with R., and my relationship with myself.

The master who teaches theses techniques and gives the transmission [Max Christensen] describes them as a path of self-enlightenment, self-teaching, and says that this was the way it used to be done in certain traditions. You plug into the Source and figure out your own way. That’s what I’ve always tried to do no matter how much I’ve read and taken from other people, other traditions, etc. I’ve always tried to make my own spiritual path, and I think I’ve done a pretty good job so far combining energy work, magic, shamanism, and spontaneous ritual. I can only imagine what would happen if I included this energy. Of course, more upheavals might occur as well. I have to be prepared to handle the consequences of bringing the divine down to earth and down to my life. I have to be prepared to see things I don’t want to see, things I’ve been avoiding. I have to be prepared to accept challenges and accept changes as they occur without fighting them. I need to surrender.

Yesterday either after or while activating my obsidian sphere I heard a voice say, “We must evolve in public.” I believe this was either a “higher” aspect of my personality or a message from somewhere else in response to my paranoia and concern over being “found out” while in the throes of healing. If indeed I choose to receive initiation into the Kunlun energy, I can only imagine what concern might arise over the twitching and flailing about and heavy breathing and possibly speaking in tongues. I’ll have to explain it all to R. so he doesn’t call an ambulance thinking I’m having a seizure. I was concerned over Nick’s behavior for a while, and that concern grew when I saw two hikers coming down a path off in the distance. I started thinking, “Can they see us? Do they see us? What if they see us?” and so on. So I remained fixed, standing upright, and did my thing. Our setting was public but certainly not as public as the aforementioned phrase implies; I believe it means, at least as it regards me personally, that I have to make my transformations known, that I have to evince my own evolution. And in all practical ways, that means simply energizing my food in public, meditating and practicing in public – in the park mountains, in the meditation room at UCR, perhaps even setting up a healing booth somewhere – playing my flute in public, etc. I’ve always thought that the benefits that might come from a middle path – walking both paths in a sense; not giving up one’s self wholly to the material by way of overachieving nor to the spiritual by way of renunciation – would be in the ability to bridge, merge, or integrate both paths and therefore reach more people in the end. “… all things to all men.”

~~~~

Incredible dreams this morning. They’ve been popping back up in my mind all day. I’m going to clear my head and try to remember the images more clearly; it’s 1:42 PM.

The first impressions that comes to mind that was present in all the dreams was a great feeling of expansiveness and space. Usually my dreams are focused in very small space and I’m only aware of certain important things at once. I remember having a very wide perspective while watching these dreams, as though I were watching a wide-screen TV.

The second thing to note is that I was not myself in these dreams. I was me, of course, but I was a completely different character with different features and traits, and I was not operating from the split perspective of being the subject while simultaneously watching the subject; I was this other character fully.

The dream that stands out most in my mind is being imprisoned or locked up in a large white room with bookshelves and cabinets that seemed to belong in an old Victorian style house. I felt skinnier and more attractive with slightly long dark brown hair and large eyes, white skin. I felt as though I belonged to a family of prominence, like we were WASPS, and I was being held in a mental institution. There was the sense that I had done something wrong or that it was believed I had done something wrong. It felt like I had killed our father in a drunk driving accident on the way to a party one night. I remember fumbling around next to a white desk – some sense of plants, soil – and eventually this tall and skinny, slightly haggard white woman – who I felt was my sister – with probably dyed yellow blonde hair and over-tanned skin came through the door with trepidation carrying an 8′/11′ sheet of white paper, and her son – presumably my nephew – trailed by her right side. I fell to the floor and reached out to her in anguish, as though I hadn’t seen nor touched another human being in years. The feeling was immensely strong – I actually felt the aching in my stomach, the longing in my kidneys to hold her and be held by her. As I strained forward on the floor, she waved her finger in front of me, indicating no, and then she put her finger to her lips indicating my silence. She handed me the piece of paper. I read it, a list of names, high-sounding people in a computer cursive font, broken down into familial categories. I remember smiling at it even though I didn’t understand what it was, searching for some solace in what seemed the only piece of evidence of the outside world I had seen in years. She said something that meant to me, eventually, that those were the people that would have come to the party that night, but now they’re going to daddy’s funeral.

I don’t remember the transition. I know the boy spoke to me briefly. Then I remember being alone again and furiously searching through the white desk, which now had strips of oak on it in places. I rifled through the drawers, searching for something. Eventually – I don’t know what happened or what I did – but a light shot across the front edge of the desk in a horizontal line and broke it open or unlocked it magically. I was ecstatic and I immediately opened the deep bottom left drawer and began to search through it, thinking, “Where’s the ring? Where’s the ring? I have to find the ring.” Eventually I found a small plastic baggie with screw and nuts in it, and at the bottom I found a simple, slim, and beautiful gold ring with a single diamond set in it. Somehow this was my salvation, I knew, and everything was okay and the dream ended, I think.

Today after my first class, I found a small diamond on the floor. I’m sure it’s fake; it has scratches on one side, but wow. Continue reading →

Posted in Aka Dua, Kunlun, Personal Journal | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

… the smell of strawberry shampoo…

Posted on March 31, 2011 by sadhaka

When I was about 10 years old, I started researching Egyptian hieroglyphics. I could read and write quite a few words after a while. I still remember the first few books I borrowed from the library on the subject. But for some reason, what I remember most about this period in my life is the smell of Suave strawberry shampoo. I’ve always made strong sense memories, and I was obviously using this shampoo at the time.

Since then any time I start digging into my past, especially the remote past, I smell the smell of strawberry shampoo. Since this period of time in my life was particular precious to me – I believe I was curious about Egyptian writing because of past lives, among other things – the more dear the time period is to me, the stronger the smell gets.

I’ve decided to do a continuing series of relevant posts from old journals I’ve kept throughout the years on subjects like Kunlun, the Aka Dua, Reiki, dream/shadow work, and so on, in an attempt to not only share with you what I’ve been through but also to help and encourage you on your own path. On the one hand, reading some of the things I used to write, I’m amazed I ever made it this far, and on the other hand, I’m surprised at how obvious it all was and that I didn’t go crazy in the process.

But here’s hoping…

Posted in UPDATE | Leave a comment

Onna-mai Reiki – Attunements, Experience

Posted on March 10, 2011 by sadhaka

About two years ago during an intensely purifying practice session full of blissful energy, I received the symbol to unlock the door to the Onna-mai current of energy healing. (See Onna-mai Reiki: Healing with the Bliss Current.) I’ve only recently begun giving attunements to this energy modality because I never wanted to give people the impression that I’m a Reiki “master” or that this system is common or used by other healers. I’m even a little wary of calling it Reiki simply because that word has become so loaded with meaning, especially in the west. However, after working with this energy for some time and giving a few attunements, I’m positive that it is an energy very much in line with the Reiki current, and I’m now glad to give attunements to anyone who wants one. It’s also the only healing modality I feel comfortable attuning people to for free since it was channeled to me personally and nobody really knows about it.

A little background: I had only taken Reiki Level I at the time I received this system, but my spiritual practice had involved intense Kunlun and Aka Dua practice for some time, and I felt that my abilities to sense and work with energy were even at that time far beyond what most people experience while giving a Reiki session. Not far after this experience, I began working with the “regular” Reiki current, the Usui Reiki modality, and found that I could sense that energy much more strongly than before, as if it were changing my consciousness by channeling it, and I became comfortable with the idea that anyone can channel anything; it just depends on our degrees of openness and sensitivity, which have a lot to do with physical and spiritual purification.

Recently I got my biggest confirmation that this is a legitimate and useful energy for anyone interested in beginning work in the world of energy healing. Here is the experience:

About Reiki you gave me last week:

“… I gave reiki to my colleague yesterday, out of pure love, as over a year ago she gave birth to her daughter who died in her tummy, and yes, she had to give birth still… Since then she was frightened of many things and angry, sad, etc. Now she is pregnant again, and she is giving birth in a few weeks’ time. She is so stressed and worried, I can see the fear consuming her, daily. Yesterday I felt my reiki current coming so strong, I was all jittery and anxious, my hands were vibrating and my third eye itching. I said to my friend, can I give you Reiki? :) She said ok. We only did less than 4 minutes in total and both had this amazing experience that I won’t even attempt to put into words. We both were amazed of how instant it was and purifying. I felt I was getting sucked into the flow too, tilting over her head. She texted me later last night to say that she is calm and comfortable, which was a relief for her, as normally it’s all a nightmare. She thanked me for it and I feel like I should tell you this, so you can see how intention and love spreads, and miracles it creates. This puts a lump in my throat and just a desire to share all the good that is available.”

I felt I had to ask permission to share this beautiful and intimate experience. It’s a wonderful confirmation to me that this work is going in the right direction and needs to be shared.

~ sadhaka ~

Posted in Energy Healing | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Personal Journal – 2/6/11

Posted on March 8, 2011 by sadhaka

2/6/11 – My neck is nearly out. So much tension in between my shoulder blades. I think it resulted from sleeping wrong on our already uncomfortable bed. I was going to practice like mad yesterday but I couldn’t. Still, in response to Riffy’s video on the Rise of the Shamans and another response to that from someone else, and then the reappearance of the black widow – this time it was not accompanied by any other shamanically significant events or sensations, however, and was lodged at the bottom of my sliding door, half way between the inner world of my home and the outer world – I decided to clean up my space(and the kitchen) and practice the way I used to practice. So when everything was prepared, I allowed my ritualistic practices to be deliberate and serious with choreographed naturalistic movements, I called on my plant ally, Datura, to protect me, and my maligned friend, _______, to do the same.

I forgot to mention that the dog that has been lodging here for a few days – also somewhat significant in that I can feel her presence very strongly and she sends out healing love energy – decided to rip apart my little petrified frog and spill its entrails all over my couch. Then while cleaning, my other little friend, the fig beetle, fell onto the floor, and I wondered if the dog might gobble it up as well, or if I might break it trying to pick it up as it was in a tight space between the couch and my altar. It was a sign to me that my little helper friends were about to go somewhere else if I didn’t pay enough attention to them or use them for anything, and so I decided to use the AD to bring the beetle back to life. The energy transfer was enormous, and after a while, the form of the spirit of the beetle presented itself, and I spontaneously uttered its name, Yeitei(accent on the first syllable.) I kept transferring energy until I became the beetle, and then it presented itself in a manner readily and willing to work, almost as if asking, “Okay. So what do we take care of?” I was nearly completely in trance at this point, allowing the consciousness of the beetle to take me over, and there were moments when I thought(hoped) I might completely black out. But my mind was still functioning on basic levels, and the first thing I thought of was the black widow, or at least whatever negativity it represents, whether it be some external negative force or something I need to face within myself.

Then we sort of leapt into action against that force which displayed itself suddenly. I could see the form of the spider, now the negative space, between large, bulbous clouds of bluish-white energy. It was formidable, but we conquered it. Interestingly enough, I don’t really remember how. It was all pretty natural feeling.

After that deep, dark, serious stuff, I thought about Diksha, and it was like a lid popped open in my Crown and Diksha started pouring in. I actually said “Oh” aloud because it was as though this divine energy was reminding me of its true nature. After having dealt with these darker, denser energies, it was like a breath of fresh air. And then of course I got to such a point as to consider being enlightened for a time. Then Krishna Diksha and visions of myself as part of the Supreme Person, one face among trillions to make up the form of Krishna. Deep feelings of significant insignificance. The Person was telling me “You matter so much to me. Without you, I would be incomplete. And yet you are but one small fraction of the grand total of my being.” It was extremely difficult to wrap my mind around.

Closing down was difficult, and it didn’t feel like 20 minutes was long enough, but my shoulders were hurting like hell by then. I don’t think sitting in that wooden chair and twitching around for so long really helped it either. There were moment when I felt that the blockage in my back was the result of the “Kundalini” work I’ve been doing, and I still wonder the same. Although why would it take three days to manifest when I’ve been doing that work for several days prior? And I’m pretty sure it’s just sexual energy, not Kundalini, but those two are pretty closely related, I believe.

During the practice, I also felt that the energy rising from my lower chakras and the energy descending from my higher chakras should be meeting in the middle of my body and melding together, so I focused on that a lot. If White Dragon and Red Dragon meet, don’t they create Pink Dragon? And is that not the color of the Stone? So I started using the “special” form of the Aka Dua to help merge them. It was successful at times but difficult to grab on to conceptually and proprioceptively.

Also of note during this practice was a moment when it felt like my 3rd Eye or Sky Eye completely opened up and I knew I could see everything. Nothing changed, but I had the feeling that if I looked at someone, I would be able to see everything about them, what they were thinking, how they felt, everything. I imagined someone and saw him at a kind of carnival with colors and moving machines.

Then during the “higher energies” portion of the work, I was suddenly transported back to ancient Egypt and saw myself as a scribe. There were some strange, strong, but simplistic emotions stirring within me, like a tarnished sense of duty and disappointment in my role in life. I could see myself clearly, but only for a while.

And in the silence, strange ideas and phrases popped into my head. I wrote them down:

- A shamanic formula: Bring your ally to life with the Aka Dua until you become your helper, and then you can accomplish any work together.

- The Tan Ma-rí: The brothers who split the stone.

- Treat Diksha with respect.

Posted in Personal Journal, UPDATE | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment